Mea Culpa
by 0weallfalldown0
Summary: When a gruesome murder is committed it stirs up memories of one of the CSI's past.
1. Busy night, busy day

**Author's note: Hello everyone! Finally here it is, my fourth story. If you haven't read my other stories I recommend you to read them first otherwise you might not understand everything. If you have read all my other stories I am very thankful you came back even when I let you wait this long for another story! And as always please do note that English is not my first language. Although you are always welcome to give feedback as to how to improve my grammar.**

 **Summary: When a gruesome murder is committed it stirs up memories of one of the CSI's past.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own CSI: Miami or any of its characters.**

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It was early in the morning when Horatio Caine stepped inside his office. His team wasn't here yet. But he hadn't expect them to be either. Horatio had been called very early this morning by the supervisor of the nightshift. They had had such a busy night that the supervisor wanted to give the latest case of this night to the dayshift. According to the supervisor it was a very gruesome murder. So Horatio had agreed and decided to come to MDPD a bit earlier so he could read up the case. When his team members arrived he could report to them and they could start immediately.

Horatio let himself fall in his chair and took his sunglasses off. He sighted. By the looks of the pile of paperwork on his desk, this was going to be a long day. He rummaged through the pile, looking for the right file, but he couldn't find it.

Someone knocked on his door. Horatio looked up and saw the supervisor of the nightshift step inside his office.

'Ah Charles.'

'Morning Horatio. Looking for this?' Charles asked while giving the file from the gruesome murder to Horatio.

'Yes I was actually. Thank you.'

'Sorry, I meant to lay it on your desk earlier, so you could start right away. But I just couldn't find the time for it. Thank you anyways for taking the case.'

'That's all right Charles. You look like you could use some sleep.'

Charles smiled sadly. 'I am afraid that will have to wait a bit longer. Not even nearly done. So I should go on. See you H.'

'Good luck then.'

Horatio watched his colleague leave, glad that he wasn't the supervisor of the nightshift. When the exhausted man was out of sight, he opened the file and started reading.

...

Half an hour later the team came in. First there was Ryan off course, the man was always early. He limped through the corridor towards the break room. Probably ready for some coffee. Horatio was proud of his youngest team member. A few weeks ago he had managed to come through the physical test and was cleared for working fully again. Horatio knew that Ryan had paid for it the day after. It had been written all over his face. But Horatio had said nothing about it, because this was all that Ryan wanted and he would do anything to get back to work. And Ryan hadn't made a single complain.

A few minutes later Ryan was followed into the break room by Calleigh and Eric. Soon followed by Natalia. Horatio's team was complete and so he grabbed the file and accompanied his team in the break room. There was a steamy hot cup of coffee waiting for him.

'Morning Horatio,' Calleigh said cheerful while Horatio took a sip of his coffee. 'What have you got for us today?'

Horatio grimaced while swallowing the bitter stuff.

'Morning team. I expect a busy day, since the night shift was so loaded that they gave there last case to us.'

'That explains the strong coffee,' Eric chuckled.

Horatio smiled before getting on seriously.

'All right, today we have an elderly white female victim of 86 years old. Most likely beaten to death with a blunt object.'

'86? What kind of coward would do something like that?' Calleigh asked shocked.

'Since it is such an gruesome murder, the nightshift thinks it is a hate crime.' Horatio went on. 'The lady was found in an abandoned building on...' Horatio looked in the file for the address and gave it to his team. '... it used to be a orphanage.'

Ryan's head shot up very subtle. Only for a moment before looking back to his own steaming cup of coffee. Horatio looked around to his other team members, to see if they had seen it too. But it didn't appear that way. And then he was sure, he needed to tell Ryan. He couldn't keep his secret any longer. And he knew Ryan didn't remembered it. Horatio himself didn't even remember it until a few months ago.

'All right team, there is work to be done. So divide and conquer.'

Everyone stood up to leave the break room. But when Ryan wanted to leave too, Horatio stopped him.

'Before you go Ryan, I want to speak to you for a moment.'

'Okay,' Ryan mumbled without looking in his boss in the eyes. He followed Horatio to his office.

'Close the door for me for a second, if you will Ryan,' Horatio said whilst searching through the papers on his desk for the second time this morning.

Ryan did as he was told and then watched his boss rummaging through the pile of papers.

At last Horatio took a particular yellow file out of the pile. He hesitated for a moment, but then gave the file to Ryan.

'I remember for a while now, Ryan. And I think you don't. But you have the right to know.'

Ryan looked at the cover of the file and noticed that the papers where yellow because the file was old. He opened the file and his jaw dropped...

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 **Well... there it is, the first chapter. Thank you for reading it! Hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think about it, because I'm not entirely sure about it.**


	2. The red-haired man

**A/N:** **A big thanks for everyone who read this chapter and liked it. Special thanks for the reviews! It is always nice to know people enjoy your story! So I hope you will like the second chapter aswell.**

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He opened the file and his jaw dropped.

Ryan gazed at the file for a moment, then he gazed at Horatio and then again back at the file.

'H, What is this?'

'I think you know what that is, Mr Wolfe.'

Ryan stared at a photo in the file. On the photo were for people smiling brightly at him. A happy family. The photograph had been made on a beautiful sunny day in a backyard. Their backyard. The backyard were Ryan had spend so much time in his youth. He had loved playing in that garden, together with his brother.

Ryan tore his eyes from the faces of his laughing parents and brother and stared back at his boss again. He didn't need to read the file to know what was in there. He knew what had happened.

'Ryan?' Horatio asked slightly worried.

Ryan needed to swallow a few times before the lump in his throat was gone and he had found his voice.

'How... How do you know about this, H?'

Horatio sighed. 'Remember that day you brought Rowan to work with you?'

Ryan nodded. 'off course I remember.'

'When you introduced Rowan to me, I was shocked. I even was speechless for a moment. You probably thought that was because I didn't know you had a twin brother?'

Ryan nodded again. 'I had expected those kind of reactions, yes. Since I never told anyone about Rowan.'

'The truth is, Ryan, that when you introduced Rowan to me, I remembered exactly that you had a twin brother. All that time I thought I recognized you from something, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. However, at that moment, that moment when I saw Rowan, I knew it immediately. I was there Ryan, I was there the day after your parents were killed.'

Slowly but surely Ryan remembered flashes of that fatal day. And although he tried pushing them away, the memories still surfaced.

...

 ** _Years and years ago_**

'Ryan... RYAN! Will you play with me now, pleaaaase?'

The six year old Ryan Wolfe looked up into the begging eyes of his twin brother.

'It's raining, Rowan.'

'Yes, but we could still play inside, couldn't we? Oh pleaaase Ry.'

Ryan shook his head. 'No.'

'MOM! Ryan doesn't want to play with me!'

'Stop shouting Rowan!' A woman's voice answered from the kitchen.

'But mom...'

A young woman with long brown hair and big brown eyes came from the kitchen.

'What are you doing, Ryan?' She asked.

'Reading,' was all that Ryan answered.

'Again? Sweetie, you do know they don't expect at school that you can read a whole book when you have just started learning to read, don't you?'

'You are boring,' Rowan said as it that was a matter of fact.

Ryan only shrugged uninterested.

'But honey, leave him be. We just have ourselves a little geek in the family. Nothing to worry about.'

Both Rowan and his mother were startled from the unexpected voice. But they both smiled when they saw a tall man with short light blonde hair in the doorway.

Ryan on the other hand ignored his father completely, he continued reading. His parents just didn't understand. He loved Rowan very much and he enjoyed playing with him, but sometimes he had enough. It was different playing with your retarded brother than with another kid of the same age.

'Daddy!' Rowan called happily before jumping into his father's outstretched arms. 'Finally done working!'

'Yes I am. And how was your day?'

'It was good, mommy made us pancakes!'

'Did she really? And did you leave a few for me?'

Rowan shook his head.

'No? Are they all in your belly?' His father asked whilst tickling Rowan.

Rowan chuckled.

'Yes we did,' Ryan mumbled.

'What did you say, Ryan?'

'Yes, we did leave you some pancakes.'

His father let go of Rowan and sat down next to Ryan on the couch.

'Hey grumpy. How was your day?'

'All right,' Ryan mumbled before staring back at his book. But that was only for a short time, because the next moment he felt a prod in his side.

Ryan looked up again, disrupted. Next moment his father tickled him and he started chuckling just like his brother had done. When he was done he stroked Ryan's hair.

'Come on Ryan, go play with Rowan. You will have to go to bed within half an hour anyway.'

With some reluctance Ryan closed his book and followed his brother upstairs.

...

Half an hour later Ryan was brushing his teeth, whilst his mother was helping Rowan brushing his teeth.

'Who left all those toys here in the hallway?' she asked.

'Rowan,' Ryan answered without hesitation. The truth was he himself had left the toys there. Rowan mumbled something but he had his mouth full of toothpaste, so no one heard him.

'You have to clean this up tomorrow, Rowan. And next time just leave the toys in your bedroom.'

After Ryan and Rowan had been tucked in tightly by their father the light went out. And only a few moments later both boys were sleeping.

...

It was around 2 A.M. when Ryan awoke with a start. There had been a loud noise. It came from downstairs. Ryan climbed out of bed, eluded the toys in the hallway and listened beside the stairs. He heard two men's voices.

'Be careful, you idiot!'

'I didn't do that on purpose!'

Then there was some sound from his parents' bedroom as well.

'Michael? Michael wake up! I heard something downstairs. I think there is someone. Will you have a look, please?'

After some reluctant groaning Ryan heard four footsteps coming from the bedroom.

And then another loud noise, followed by a scream.

'IDIOT!'

He saw his father running towards him, towards the staircase. But Ryan stood rooted on the spot when he watched his father stumble over a toy and falling down the stairs.

'Michael!' His mother screamed frightened. She ran down the stairs.

Ryan opened his mouth. He wanted to warn her about the man downstairs. But there came no sound out of his throat.

'Michael? Micheal? AAARG!'

The scream of Ryan's mother was followed by two hard bangs and a strange metal like smell.

'Ryan?'

Ryan looked up startled and saw the scared face of his brother. He took Rowan's hand and lead him towards their bedroom, inside their wardrobe.

Ryan waited, concentrating on the sounds downstairs. But eventually he didn't hear a thing, except for the strong and fast beating of his own heart. He still didn't trust it though and so he stayed inside the wardrobe. His one hand holding the doorknob and the other hand holding his brother.

The hours passed slowly, but Ryan stayed there, not moving a muscle. You would think he was a statue if he didn't blink his eyes now and then. He didn't feel tired at all and he didn't even feel the cramp in his legs from squatting for so long.

Rowan on the other hand was shaking, though he didn't make any sound. His frightened, tired eyes were concentrated on his brother. He understood Ryan without talking to him and at this moment he knew he had to be quiet.

Ryan squeezed Rowan's hand. 'It's going to be all right, Rowan,' he whispered

'I'm scared Ry,' Rowan whispered back.

'There is no need to be scared Rowan,' Ryan lied. 'I am here with you, I will protect you.'

Ryan swallowed. He had no idea how he could protect his brother, but it was what his parents had always told him.

"Watch your brother Ryan. Care for Rowan, Ryan. Be a good brother, Ryan."

And at that moment, there in that wardrobe, Ryan swore to himself that he would always do that, from now on.

...

Slowly the sun rose and it became light outside. And then, without warning, Ryan heard footsteps downstairs.

Rowan's scared eyes grew big. Ryan just motioned for him to be quiet.

The footsteps were followed by voices. Voices that grew louder and seemed to come closer.

'CLEAR' It sounded from different rooms inside the house. It sounded like the footsteps went downstairs again.

It was quiet for a moment, but then Ryan heard the squeaking of the stairs. Someone was coming up. The footsteps came closer.

Rowan crept closer towards Ryan. Ryan looked through the slightly ajar closet door. There was a man inside their room. Ryan swallowed. The man pulled gently on the door, but Ryan still held the doorknob. The second time the man pulled harder and the doorknob slipped out of Ryan's sweaty hand.

The man lowered himself on one knee. A man with a young, friendly face and bright red hair. He held his hand out to Ryan and Rowan. And his voice, his gentle voice was comforting.

'Hey boys, don't be scared. It's all right, I am a police officer,' he said.

...

 ** _Present_**

'It was you, it was you who took us out of the wardrobe that day.'

Horatio nodded. 'Yes Mr Wolfe, it was me.'

Ryan shook his head. He couldn't believe it. His boss had saved him from that wardrobe and he hadn't even remembered. Well, he remembered now. He remembered everything like it had happened yesterday and it felt horrible.

'It was my fault, Horatio. It was my fault and I blamed Rowan. And I had never the chance to be honest to them. If I had just cleaned up my toys my father wouldn't have fallen down the stairs. And if I hadn't been so stupid I could have stopped my mother and warned her for those men. But I didn't. I didn't do anything at all!'

Horatio grabbed Ryan's shoulders. 'Look at me, Ryan. You were only a child. A scared little boy. You have done nothing wrong. This _was not_ your fault. You hear me? This was _not_ your fault.'

'I have always cleaned up everything, since that day, Horatio. I have never left anything laying around again,' Ryan rambled.

'I know Ryan, I know.'

* * *

 **That's it! Chapter two. Pff hope you liked it, because I'm not entirely sure about it.** **And I'm very sorry if there are many grammar mistakes, but I found it a difficult chapter to write. In every aspect.**


	3. You could call it karma

**A/N:** **Well here it is, chapter three. Finally, you could say! I really hope that there are still some readers. I'm sorry you had to wait for so long! Hope you like it ;)**

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'Are you sure you want to do this, Ryan?'

Ryan stared at his boss, who was manoeuvring the Hummer through the traffic.

'Yes, I'm sure,' He said.

'You know everyone will understand if you don't want to work this case, do you?'

'I'll survive, H.'

Horatio drove up the wide driveway and stopped in front of the yellow police tape. Ryan looked up towards the dilapidated building. It was largely overgrown by ivy plants and above the entrance stood in rusty letters: "Orphanage."

Horatio saw that his CSI swallowed.

'Ryan...'

'I have to do this, H.'

Horatio sighed. He felt responsible, but he couldn't stop Ryan if really wanted to do this.

'All right then,' He said reluctantly. 'Look for Calleigh or Eric and ask what you can do. I'll go ask Tripp what he's gotten so far.

Ryan nodded and wanted to step out of the car, but Horatio grabbed his arm.

'And Ryan, if you don't feel like you want to do this, on any moment whatsoever, you are allowed to stop.'

Ryan nodded again. 'Right, thanks H.'

He stepped out of the Hummer and walked towards the entrance. Horatio stepped out too and watched him. He now knew why Ryan was so meticulous, why he had OCD. And all Horatio could do about that was hope that it would never break his young CSI.

...

Ryan felt the eyes of his boss burning on his back when he walked towards the entrance. He started walking a bit faster and only stopped when he was inside. Once inside Ryan looked around. Right in front of him was a big wooden staircase. On both his sides there were closed doors, causing the only light to come from the windows at the top of the stairs.  
Ryan heard some footsteps above him and decided to go and look for his colleagues there first.  
At the top of the staircase was a long, small corridor. Ryan squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. His heart was beating painfully fast. He felt nervous, but he didn't remember anything.

'Good, that's good,' He whispered to himself.

With his memories tucked away deeply, Ryan walked towards the first door on his right in the corridor. He opened it, but saw no one. He walked on. The next door was on his left, Ryan opened this one as well and stood in the doorway for a moment.  
It was a spacious, long room. Against both walls stood a row of beds, all the way to the end of the room. Some still with a mattress on it where the filling bulged out.  
Ryan's stomach turned. This was it, he remembered now.

'Ryan? Ryan are you okay?'

Ryan startled. He looked up, right in the face of Natalia.

'Are you all right?' She asked slightly worried.

'Yeah, I'm fine,' Ryan lied. He looked beside her and frowned. Without knowing he had walked into the room towards two beds. Now he knew for sure, he looked at the beds where Rowan and he had slept for over twelve long years. He stood in the middle of the orphanage of which he had thought and hoped that he would never see it again when he left it on his eighteenth birthday.

'Ryan? Are you sure you feel okay? You are a bit pale.'

'Huh? Oh yes, yes you just scared me for a moment. I didn't know you were in this room.'

Natalia smiled apologetic. 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.'

'That's all right, Natalia. Have you seen Calleigh or Eric?'

'Calleigh is downstairs and Eric is in the next room with the body.'

'Thanks.'

Ryan left the room and opened the next door. There, in the middle of the room, was Eric, crouched next to a swollen and clearly dead woman.  
Eric looked up when Ryan stepped into the room.

'Hey,' was all he said.

'Hey Eric, still no coroner huh?'

Eric shook his head. 'Nope, they are still busy with the murders off last night.'

Ryan walked towards Eric and crouched down on the other side of the dead body. The woman wore nuns clothes. Most likely which had ones hung loosely to her body, but sat quiet tight over her body now. Because of the decomp the body had swollen and it smelled terrible too. She must have been dead for a while already.

'Any idea who she is?' Ryan asked.

'No, I can't find an ID anywhere. Maybe Tripp knows. He was going to talk to the owner.'

'Looks like she worked here,' Ryan said after he had swallowed the gastric acid which had been rising in his oesophagus.

'What makes you think that?'

'Well, she is found here, in an orphanage, Eric. Nuns worked in orphanages often, right?'

'You've got a point there, maybe you are right. I hope there are still some living nuns who can identify the body.'

'If they are able to recognize her,' Ryan mumbled. He looked around the room. Besides the dried blood next to the dead nuns head there was nothing out of the ordinary in this room.

'Have you found a possible murder weapon yet?'

Eric shook his head. 'So far the only things we found are a few bloodstains on the mattresses in the room next to this. But they are old, so probably not from the nun or the culprit. The window was already open when we came here. So it is possible the culprit entered and left through this window.'

Ryan looked up towards the open window. The white paint was partly from the window frame and in one window was a big crack. The white curtains, who were filled with holes, rocked gently from the soft breeze. Which was hardly cooling in the warm sun.

'Have you looked there for any prints already?' Ryan asked Eric.

'Yeah, but I only found a smudge. So probably nothing that is going to help us solve this case.'

Ryan heard some stumbling behind him. He turned and saw Horatio stepping inside the room, followed by Tripp and another nun. This one naturally still alive. Although, Ryan didn't think she would be for much longer. She looked very old. The old nun looked vaguely familiar to Ryan, but he wasn't sure.

'Is this your friend, ma'am?' Horatio asked the still breathing nun.

The nun covered her mouth with a very wrinkled hand.

'Oh yes, yes that's her,' she answered with an amazingly strong voice for her age.

Tripp frowned. 'Are you sure, ma'am? She is... Well she isn't quiet who she once was, is she?'

'No, No, I can see it fine from here. I am sure. She always had that rosary with her.' The nun pointed at the rosary next to the dead body. 'And those glasses, that are definitely her glasses.'

'Very well then. Thank you, ma'am,' Horatio said kindly.

'Officers, who do you think would do something awful like this to poor sister Agatha?'

That name... And then something clicked inside Ryan's head. Now he knew. He got up and turned around completely.

'Karma, I guess you could say it was karma.'

* * *

 **That's it, not very long, but hope you liked it! I can't promise I will update soon. Most likely not in May, I have exams coming up. When they are finished I'll have more time to update.**


	4. Keep calm, it could save you

**A/N:** **Ahhh finally! Chapter 4! Well, nothing more interesting to say. Let your eyes go down this page and read the chapter. Enjoy!**

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'Sorry, what did you just say?' The nun asked.

But when Ryan had turned fully, there was a glance of recognition on the nun's face. Her eyes grew big.

'YOU! YOU! IT WAS YOU!' The nun spat the words out. 'You have always been a rotten apple. You and that idiotic brother of yours. Talking about him... Where is he actually?'

'He died,' was all that Ryan could say.

'Oh, good. It wasn't like he added something good to this world anyway.'

Without thinking Ryan stormed towards the nun. It was a good thing Eric hadn't clipped his nails that morning. With those nails he could just grab the back of Ryan's shirt. The nun screamed in fear and Tripp jumped between her and Ryan. Eric held Ryan a bit better, he was still trying to get to the nun.

'Ryan, stop that!' Horatio called calmly but clearly. 'Frank, take sister Johanna to the station and Eric, bring Ryan to my hummer.'

Tripp led the nun outside, at a safe distance followed by Eric, who dragged Ryan with him. Horatio at the end of the queue _(oh I love this word)_ , thinking of how to get his youngest CSI out of this mess again.

...

Horatio and Tripp were sitting in the interrogation room. On the other side of the table sat the nun. She hadn't cried about the dead of sister Agatha. But she did look angry, very angry.

'At least she is with the good Lord now, away from all this evil,' she mumbled.

'Which "evil" do you think that could do this to your friend exactly?' Asked Tripp.

'Those boys, those awful boys!'

'Eh... which boys exactly?' Tripp asked.

'Isn't that obvious? Those twins. The Wolfe twins. What else would he have been doing there with Agatha?'

'Mr Wolfe is a CSI. He was with Agatha, because he works on her case,' Tripp answered.

The nun raised her finger towards Tripp. 'Oh that wasn't a coincidence. No sir, there is no such thing as coincidence.'

Horatio sighed, this wasn't working. 'Ma'am, Ryan wasn't lying when he told you about his brother. His brother did really die. So they could never have killed sister Agatha.'

'Ah yes, Ryan... that was his name. Well, maybe they could not have killed her together, but he could have killed her alone, right? That brother of his must have been too stupid to do such thing anyway.'

'But what makes you think Ryan killed Agatha?' Horatio asked.

'He had always been a terrible child. No respect for the rules at all.'

'Ryan?' Tripp asked surprised. 'That doesn't sound as the Ryan Wolfe we know at all.'

'Oh, you don't know him like I do. He was always busy making somebody else's life a mess. He hated authority and so he hated all the nun's in the orphanage. Especially sister Agatha.'

'Why especially sister Agatha?' Tripp asked.

'Because Agatha was in charge of the boys group where Ryan and his brother were in.'

'Were there more boys who hated Agatha or any of the other nun's?' Horatio asked.

'No... No, not really. Well yes, there were always some boys who did not behave. But the Wolfe twins were by far the worst.'

'So, if I understand you well. You are saying that Ryan had a motive to kill sister Agatha?' Summarized Horatio.

'Right! And...' The nun raised her finger towards Horatio this time. 'Ryan was there today, no coincidence! And... You found Agatha in the room were used to be given lessons to Ryan's group. It was also the room were most arguments took place. Also no coincidence!'

Horatio stood up and Tripp did the same. 'All right, thank you very much ma'am. We would appreciate it if you stayed in the neighbourhood. So we are able to call you, if we have any more questions.'

'Of course officer, that is no problem. I'm always in my own neighbourhood, never left it! But I would appreciate it that you will find the culprit!'

Horatio nodded. 'We will try our best. Officer Tripp will lead you to the exit.'

When Horatio walked out of the interrogation room he almost crashed into Natalia. 'Miss Boa Vista, you are standing very close to the door, you know.'

'I'm sorry H, but I really needed to talk to you as quickly as possible. We've got a problem.'

'All right, what is the problem?' Horatio asked softly whilst leading Natalia to a more quiet place.

'I found blood and some hair in the orphanage and I've analysed it. We have a match. The blood and the hair are from the same person.'

'And... Is that person someone we know?' Horatio asked with a bad feeling about it.

Natalia looked down and sighed. 'I'm afraid we do.'

...

Ryan was sitting in the break room staring to his coffee, which Eric had made for him. But Ryan hadn't even taken a sip of it. When he had calmed down a bit, Eric had left to work on the case. But Ryan's calmness was played. He didn't feel calm at all. He felt angry and at the same time a sort of fear. He wished he had never seen those nun's again. He felt sick when he only thought about them already. De smell of his coffee didn't make him feel any better, so he pushed it away.

Ryan looked up when the door opened. It was his boss and something in Horatio's eyes told Ryan he didn't have good news.

Horatio sat down opposite Ryan. Ryan didn't say anything. He waited until Horatio started talking. And eventually Horatio did.

'Ryan, we've got a problem. Sister Johanna claims that you didn't like sister Agatha very much. That you even hated her.'

Ryan shrugged. 'Well, yes you could call it that. We hated each other. That doesn't make me a murderer.'

'No, it doesn't, but it gives you a motive.'

Ryan jumped up. 'Oh, so now people are convicted on the story one person tells. A person who wasn't even a witness of the murder!?'

Horatio raised his hand. 'Ryan please, calm down,' he himself said that very calmly.

Ryan sat down again.

'Natalia found blood and hair at the orphanage and she analysed it. It is both yours.'

'Mine? But I haven't been there since... since I was eighteen! Maybe it is old. And if it is old it could even have been Rowan's!'

'We don't know if it is old. And as long as we don't, you have to make sure you know where you were the last couple of days.'

'What? So now I am a suspect?! Are you arresting me, Horatio?!' Ryan asked. Although it didn't really sound like questions, it sounded more like screamed conclusions.

Horatio raised his hand again, weary. 'No Ryan, I am not arresting you. Not as long as I don't have to. But please do understand that sister Johanna's story and the hair and blood make you look like a suspect. So if we do need to arrest you, have your story ready, please.'

Horatio stood up and walked towards the door. Ryan jumped up for the second time.

'But H, I haven't done it... I haven't killed sister Agatha!'

Horatio walked on.

'LISTEN TO ME!'

Horatio turned around. He was still very calm. It started to irritate Ryan.

'Ryan, calm down, please. You are only making it worse. We will figure this out, all right?' Horatio turned towards the door again and left the break room.

'But you do believe me, right?' Ryan asked panting.

There was no answer.

'RIGHT?'

Still no answer. Ryan grabbed his cup of coffee and threw it against the door out of frustration. All his calmness gone.

* * *

 **That's it! Hope you liked it. No idea when the next update will be, but it will come. I'm going on holiday first =D**


	5. All those nuns

**A/N:** **It's been a year! Don't think many of you expected to ever upload another chapter again. But well, here it is. Thank you all who are still reading.**

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-One day later-

Horatio was looking at the evidence again. It wasn't much... It was actually very little. Unless you counted the evidence that pointed towards his youngest CSI. Besides the blood and hair they had found yesterday, they had also concluded that the smudge Eric had found could be Ryan's. The smudge itself didn't mean much, there were not enough details. But counting in the other evidence, it looked like Ryan had been there.  
Besides that, sister Johanna had sent another nun. And that nun had told the same story as sister Johanna. That Ryan had hated sister Agatha when he was still in the orphanage.

For the first time in his career Horatio felt like he didn't know what to do. Well, he did know what to do, he just didn't want to do it. He had to interrogate his CSI and arrest him, something he rather didn't do.

Horatio took a big sip of his water and stood up. He cleared his throat and walked towards the break room. The rest of his team, except Ryan, would be waiting there for him. Horatio had told Ryan to stay at home. He could work this case.

When Horatio opened the door of the break room all his team members stopped talking. They stared at him. Horatio decided to not sit down. He would be more clear when he was standing.

'I have some bad news,' he started. 'I don't see another possibility than to arrest Ryan.'

'But H! You can't do th...'

Horatio held his hand up to silence Natalia. 'There is no one in this room that wants this for Ryan, Natalia. Especially not me. But at this moment, we have no other choice. Mr. Wolfe will have to come with a good explanation. Tripp would you... you know.'

Horatio didn't know how to ask Tripp, but Tripp had understood him. He nodded and stood up.

'Take good care of him,' Horatio told him when Tripp walked out of the room.

...

Ryan was sitting on his couch and staring in front of him. He thought about yesterday. All those things Horatio had told him and than that orphanage. He wished he hadn't gone back to work yet. He had rather not known. All those memories, he hated them.

The doorbell rang and Ryan walked towards the door. He saw Tripp was standing outside. Ryan knew what was coming. For one moment he thought of running, but that was a stupid idea. Then he opened the door.

'Hey Tripp.'

Tripp sighed. 'I'm sorry Ryan, but I have to ask you to turn around and to put your hands behind your back. You are being arrested for the murder of sister Agatha.'

Tripp wanted to continue his mandatory explanation, but Ryan signed him to stop. He knew how it worked. So Ryan turned around and Tripp cuffed him. It wouldn't help to resist anyway. Ryan rather had it over with as fast as possible.

After a short drive in the back of Tripp's car and the "Walk of shame" at MDPD, Tripp led Ryan to a interview room. Horatio was waiting there for them. Tripp uncuffed Ryan and sat down next to Horatio. The chair opposite Horatio and Tripp was meant for the suspect, in this case Ryan.

Ryan sat down and acted like he didn't care. He actually did care, but Ryan had decided to not show anything of the emotional rollercoaster he was in at the moment.

Ryan stared at his hands, so his boss couldn't see his face. He saw the red marks the cuffs had left on his wrist, but he wasn't going to rub his wrists like every other criminal demonstrated. He didn't want to be associated with other criminals. Or at least as little as possible at this moment.

'Ryan,' Horatio started. 'I am really sorry we had to do this, but at this moment I don't see any other possibility. All the evidence is leading us in your direction. Do you have any explanation for this?'

'I have no idea, lieutenant Caine. Isn't that your job to investigate?' Ryan answered. He felt furious. How dare Horatio to claim that he didn't have a choice? Off course he had a choice, there is always a choice. For starters Horatio could try to trust Ryan.

'Ryan, please. We need your help,' Tripp said friendly.

They could be as friendly as they wanted to, Ryan thought. But that wasn't helping him. He just wanted them to believe him.

'I don't know. I really don't know. I just know that I didn't do it.'

Horatio sighed. 'All right then. This is what we are going to do. We are doing it by the book. I don't want any of us to get in trouble later on. Tripp, bring Ryan to a cell. Ryan, please try to think about anything that could help you. Meanwhile the team and I will search for evidence that could help you to get out of this mess. And Ryan, don't think I enjoy this. I really hate this Ryan.'

...

Ryan was sitting on the ground. His back leaning against the cold metal bars of his square cage. Tripp had left him there alone to think about an explanation. But Ryan couldn't think. He heard voices coming from the suspects from other cases. Who were being held in other cells. It didn't make Ryan feel safe that there still were some bars between him and the others. The metal bars didn't help either. Ryan felt like the bars were closing in on him, that his cage was getting smaller and smaller until he would suffocate.

Horatio had saved Ryan from a wardrobe once, could he save Ryan out of this closet as well? Ryan doubted it. He still had the feeling that his boss didn't trust him completely.

'Hey Ry.'

Ryan looked up from his thoughts.

'Natalia,' he said surprised.

'How are you feeling?'

Ryan made a face.

'Sorry, stupid question. Horatio sent me.'

Ryan frowned this time. 'Why did he do that for?'

'He thinks you might listen to me. That you trust me more then you trust him. He really does found this a difficult situation Ry.'

Ryan sighed. 'Maybe he does. But he could have waited a bit longer before arresting me, right?'

Natalia didn't answer that question, which Ryan took as a yes. She did also believe that Horatio had made this decision too quick.

'Ryan, please try and think about something or someone that could help you get out of here,' Natalia said.

'Like I said to Horatio, I just don't know anything that could help me Natalia.'

Natalia sighed. 'Please Ry, think.'

Ryan looked at her and saw those beautiful begging eyes of his favourite colleague. He nodded then and thought.

 _Something or someone... something or someone... someone... someone!_ Ryan's head shot up. He hadn't thought of someone before, just something.

'Natalia, there is another nun! Sister Christina. She sort of liked me... and Rowan. Maybe she knows more! But... would she still be alive?'

Ryan's enthusiasm vanished as fast as it had come. Natalia on the other hand was already on her feet and walking towards the door.

'I'll find out Ryan! Don't worry, it will all be all right.'

...

Horatio watched how Natalia was jumping from one foot on the other nervously whilst Calleigh was searching for a still living sister Christina on the computer. The whole team was standing around that computer and Calleighs fingers were rattling at top speed over the keyboard.

'All right,' she said eventually. 'I think I found someone who could be the sister Christina Ryan was talking about. She is old and in a retirement house, but she is still alive.'

'That's great work Calleigh!' Horatio said with renewed hope. 'So this is the plan. Calleigh, you'll give me the address of the retirement home. Then Tripp and I will pay this sister Christina a visit. Eric, Natalia, go find a specialist to look at the evidence we have found this far. Ask him to look at the hair and blood again. Maybe a specialist can prove that this evidence is old.'

...

-3 hours later-

Horatio was sitting in the passenger's seat in Tripp's car. Meanwhile Tripp was driving through the traffic. Horatio's phone rang and he answered it.

'Tell me what you have found out, ms Boa vista.'

'We did it H! The specialist found out that the blood and the hair are old indeed!'

'Good job! The nun was very helpful as well. She gave us some astonishing details. I think we might have found the real culprit with this information. We are on our way back to MDPD at this moment. We'll see you there.'

Horatio hung up and looked at Tripp, who was concentrating on the road.

'Have they found something, H?' Tripp asked with a hoarse throat because he had been screaming at the nun. Not to be rude, but because besides being very helpful, she was very deaf as well.

'Yes Frank, they did. So let's get Ryan out.'

...

Ryan looked up when the door of his cell opened. For a short moment he had thought it was Tripp who was coming to get him out. But then he saw that it was another police officer, escorting two suspects of some case in the cell. The officer closed the cell door again and walked away.

The two new visitors stared and Ryan. And then one of the men started smiling.

'Hey, aren't you that cop? Look Josh. He is that cop from last time, isn't he?'

Now the second man, Josh, started smiling also.

'Yeah, I think you are right. That is him,' Josh said to his friend. 'Did you find yourself on the wrong sides of the bars this time, idiot?' He then asked Ryan.

Ryan swallowed when the two men started to close in on him. He stood up so he could defend himself a bit better. But there was little defending against two of these big men when you were just alone...

* * *

 **Ahh finally.** **Another chapter finished. Thank you all for reading this! I think there is only one more chapter to this story. I hope to finish it this summer, but I can't promise you anything. It could also take another year. Although I certainly hope not.**


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